The Comics finally played some cricket, but swiftly wished they hadn't. On a lovely sunny day, Coops won the toss and chose to bat, only to discover that the pitch was not the Powerleague batting paradise of last September. It would have been tough enough to score runs on a pitch offering very inconsistent bounce and pace, but their excellent seamer made it a very tough task, and the paltry total of 83 was probably not as bad as it looks. We were not helped by giving three LBWs , but to be fair they all looked fairly plumb - yes even you Rob.

 

We ran through the Lambeth top order with ease, as new boy Jaco was backed up well by Shane and Veitchy, but their skipper sashed thirty odd and they ultimately scraped home with two wickets to spare. A few close shouts predictably went against us, which could have made the difference, but that's nothing new. A tough season beckons... 

 

 

The Comics recorded an unlikely victory thanks to an astonishing knock from Coops (even if I do say so myself). The team had picked itself…from a hat. Eight players on Thursday afternoon became twelve on Friday night and then ten an hour before the start when Jaco was mistaken for a lion and shot on the way to Shepherd’s Bush. League rules state that the Comics must take the field with at least one player who’s never played before, so Tobi got the late call-up to become Sweden’s first (and last cricketer).

 

Coops won the toss and chose to bat on a glorious sunny day. Morden’s short straight boundaries and lightening outfield were a recipe for runs, and the ‘popular captain’ hit the fourth ball for six, and lost the ball in the third over with another big hit. Wickets fell regularly, including Veitch’s second duck of the season with a truly awful shot, but Coops rattled along like a train at the other end. Debutant Muhammad came in at 5 and started at Healy-esque pace, but soon he was joining the party with some elegant strokeplay. A 100 partnership, ended when he saw stumped for 37, laid the platform for a competitive score. No one else contributed much, but most stuck around for a bit while Coops hammered boundaries at the other end. Raman got a golden duck on debut, courtesy of the standard shocking LBW decision from Veitch, who clearly wants everyone else to be as successful with the bat as he is. Coops was finally out in the penultimate over for 183. 19 fours and 12 sixes was the tale of the tape, with probably not many more than 100 balls faced. Probably an Economicals record…we make them up as we go along so why not.

 

264 was always going to be a tough ask, but Morden are a good side and batted well. Veitch and Shane bowled well early, and Raman took a good wicket on debut, but they gradually got on top of our change bowling and at one point looked like comfortable victors, especially after Muhammad dropped a sitter on the boundary when they were carting it everywhere. Coops brought Shane back for a last throw of the dice with 90 needed and seven wickets in hand, and the greying Kiwi duly obliged first ball as their skipper was caught behind for 68. The fact that no one actually appealed mattered not, as he walked off in gentlemanly fashion. Shane then accounted for their other batting star courtesy of a catch by Fudge, and it was left to Veitch and Coops to polish off the lower order for a famous victory and a badly needed win.

 

 

A last-ditch defeat for the Comics, but no shame against a good side, even though this was a game we should have won. Coops won the toss as always and chose to bat as always and started smashing boundaries at always. At 120-2 off 20 odd overs, with Macca also going nicely, things were going well, but Coops was tiring and needed a drink. But where was the orange squash? Sadly, Jabba, having made a pitiful five, had decided he didn’t fancy umpiring and had taken the pavilion keys and locked himself in for a trip to the toilet (for he had runs of one sort and not the other), a spot of women’s tennis, and presumably another trip to the toilet to clean himself up.

 

And so it was that a dehydrated Coops edged a weary drive and fell for 73. Once Macca succumbed for 44, including one enormous six, the Comics collapsed from 150-3 to 180 all out in the space off six overs, leaving 12 overs outstanding that would ultimately prove crucial.

 

Shane and Veitch each picked up an early wicket, but Putney have some good batsmen and eased into control until Macca came on and bowled a hostile spell of 2-16. In a tactical move, Jabba went off for another poo and in his absence Oats removed the Putney dangerman and it was game on. At 120-6 a shock victory looked on the cards, but Putney’s experienced older heads edged them close. Raman’s medium pace got carted but when he turned to spin the game changed once more as he picked up three quick wickets, including the ninth with Putney still one behind. But the next ball went for four and that was that.

 

Post-match we discovered that BARRY had defected to Putney and was currently getting a game in their special needs team, which plays on Sundays on padded outfields with a rubber ball, foam bats and no sharp points on the boundary flags. He will be sorely missed. As a mark of respect, in our next match we will all be playing in the spirit that BARRY intended, so throwing with our bad arms, bowling 20mph off a 40-yard run and heckling team-mates as they are about to take a match-deciding catch.

The Comics fell to the league's top team, but at least showed some fight against much hardship. To get 11 players out was in itself a miracle, as the lure of the football and the usual excuses meant a mishmash of gumtree freaks, favours called in and Raman's entire outsourcing office took to the field on a baking day with Coops finally losing a toss. I say 11, but macca, aka the Kiwi Jabba, managed to spend the first 32 overs under a tree lost in his car and missed out on the toil as we struggled against some good batsmen, a docile pitch and a lightning-fast outfield. Our intrepid adventurer did manage to shout at a stranger, bowl seven overs, misfield twice and get carted everywhere for his trouble.

 

Highlight of the day, apart from England going out, was a fine debut knock from Khuram, whose 80* contained some lovely wristy strokes to complement the rotten clubbing of the likes of Coops and Macca. Macca can also lay claim to the biggest six I've seen at Berrylands, as the game next door was in danger. Veitch failed again, but did manage to raise his average to 3.25. Even Imraz would deny knowing him.

 

Thoughts turn to Putney A. Will BARRY's plan to take the Putney CC selection committee to an industrial tribunal pay off with his selection to face his nemesis Coops? We can only hope...

A crushing victory for the Comics against Putney’s second string should keep the relegation wolves at the door for a while longer. There was good and bad news at the start, as the sight of BARRY lining up for the oppo was countered by Coops losing the toss and the opportunity to make hay on Putney’s friendly boundaries. With three new Cape Town signings taking the field, it looked promising, but Putney got off to a solid start, reaching 40 odd in untroubled fashion in quick time. Veitch picked up a wicket, swiftly followed by new man Rowan getting in on the act. There then followed an interesting spell – Veitch dropping a steepling caught and bowled chance, two absolute stone dead LBWs turned down and a clear run-out not given – and tempers began to fray.

 

The drinks break brought a change of luck though, as Oats struck with the first ball following the resumption and we began to take control with the ball swinging prodigiously. The sight of BARRY coming in at number six, to a smattering of applause and a chorus of ‘Mr Hankey the Christmas poo’ gladdened the hearts, and it was not long before his new team-mates were haranguing him as we fondly used to. Shane clattered his unprotected thigh first up, and a scratchy 8 was not what Putney would have hoped for from their big-money close season transfer. The pot plant in Coops’ front room is still going strong, so he seems to have got the better of the deal. The Comics battled back strongly and dismissed Putney for a sub-par 169, with three for Shane and a well-deserved four for Rowan.

 

169 was unlikely to be enough, and the Comics set about the task with gusto against an dreadfully defensive field. Coops continued his fine form, and Frikkie looked a decent player on debut. A 94 stand all but ended opposition hopes, and Neil came in and smashed it to all parts to ensure an early finish. Jabba stroked it around nicely, despite having drunk a can of super strength cider before coming in, and Khuram hit his first two balls for huge sixes. All done in under 22 overs, and hopes of mid-table obscurity rise.

The Comics ran a strong Old Thorntonians A side close, but came up short at the end of both innings to ruin what had been a decent performance with a weak-looking side. Coops won the toss and had no hesitation in batting on a Berrylands belter in sunny weather. Jez Healy fell early – as is his way – and a slow start ensued against tight bowling as only 15 came from the first seven overs. However, Coops started to find the gaps and Dave Taylor overcame a shaky start on his seasonal debut to play a fine innings in support. Not even the cavalcade of posh cars that arrived to watch the Pakistani First Minister’s son playing could distract proceedings, and the pair added 159 before Coops forgot for a moment that Dave had a shell on his back and called him back for a tight second.  Off he went after a nicely crafted fifty, but Roy came in and also notched a half-century on his seasonal bow. Coops brought up his second century of the season, but just when the throng of Asian babes on the balcony were warming to him and a spot of ‘Bride and Prejudice’ was in the offing, he fell to a sharp boundary catch. The innings then lost its way as new batsmen struggled to find the gaps, but 253 was still a very good total.

 

It looked like being a match-winning one as wickets fell at regular intervals. New boy Tristan picked up three with a various assortment of deliveries, Jez sent back one of the openers with a direct hit from cover, and all was looking good. A crucial missed sitter from Roy allowed Thorntonians to get back in the game, but Comics were always in the box seat until the seventh wicket pair got together. The opposition captain had claimed his side batted all the way down, and he was right, as they turned 160-7 into 254-8 with ease against some less-than-penetrating bowling on an extremely flat pitch. It was frustrating to lose a game that we had dominated for so long, but no shame against a decent side.

 

The Comics won a close game for once, overcoming a batting collapse against a stubborn Selsdon side to record the third victory of the season. With Berrylands damp and gloomy, Coops lost the toss but as he was putting his pads on found out that Selsdon had chosen to bat. Their skipper admitted to having no bowling – that much was true, but still it was a head-scratcher, as Veitch proved by making their 15-year-old opener cry with a body shot second ball.

 

The ball zipped around and reared up and Selsdon found it difficult. Coops’ experiment of putting people in the slips who can catch paid dividends as new Saffa William took a good catch to remove their dangerman off a snorter from Shane. More from this pair later. Sharp catching was the theme of the day. Nine taken, including four in the slips, and only a couple of drops (FREDDIE!), in what was one of the sharpest performances in the field for some time, with well taken catches for Healy, Neil, Oats and Roy in particular. Tempers were frayed when a Selsdon umpire blotted his copybook with a shameful display, calling a no ball for a waist-high full toss that was closer to the knee, about three seconds after it had been hit and one second before Veitch snaffled it on the boundary. Never mind, thought we, as Selsdon were dismissed for a paltry 157 on a pitch that was drying out nicely. Shane bowled a great spell of 12-3-37-5, and Raman and Oats chipped in with a couple of wickets each. Veitch did nothing.

 

Coops and Freddie cruised to 50 with no trouble, but then a collapse saw three wickets fall for two runs. At 94-6, with Selsdon’s rubbish players sledging away like Australian test players, things were looking bleak, but William laughed off the “mega-gob” taunts from the aforementioned umpire, who spent 30 overs at short leg combining trash-talking with crapping himself anytime the ball went near him and smashed 43*, accompanied by Shane’s composed 22* to bring the Comics home with ease. A demoralised Selsdon trudged off the field quietly past the jubilant Comics, and the biggest mouth of all was left to reflect on the old adage about “cheats never prosper”. He didn’t even stay for a pint.

 

So 3-4, and one more win will probably see division two cricket again next year. 

The Comics suffered a heart-breaking loss at run-laden Berrylands, in a game they really should have won comfortably against 10-man Clapham Old Xaverians. Coops won the toss and chose to bat, but at 48-4 the suggestion that we would end up with too many runs would have been laughed at. However, Healy and Neil set about recovering the situation with their conflicting styles and Neil rode his luck to bring up a first ever fifty. Healy went for a gritty 23, but Neil carried on blasting it to all parts, ably supported by first Will and then Rowan. Neil brought up a thrilling hundred, and then following a hat-trick (predictably including Veitch bowled first ball) Rowan smashed three sixes in the last over to take us to a match-winning 276 (or so we thought).

 

At 48-3 and way behind the run rate, Clapham looked doomed, but two batsmen got in, survived a tough chance each and some deafening and needless abuse from the home bowlers and fielders, and took them to the brink of victory, helped in no small part by some shoddy and lazy fielding. A good bowling effort was ruined by misfields and overthrows and lack of backing up, which would ultimately prove crucial. Tempers on both sides frayed, and umpiring decisions went the home side’s way, but the Comics fought back late and with two new batsmen at the crease and nine needed from the last over it looked like what should’ve been an easy victory might finally be snatched from the jaws of defeat. But Rowan’s Herculean bowling effort, which did not deserve to see us lose, couldn’t bring the Comics home, as a four off the first ball was followed by a two and three singles, and that was it.

 

Sportsmanship marks were redeemed in the bar, but once again the Comics found to their cost that a sloppy ten-over spell can cost matches.

A facile win from the Comics to put last week’s horror loss behind them and pretty much seal division two cricket for another year. Hampton were under-strength and poor, but most teams would have struggled against some disciplined bowling and keen fielding. Coops won the toss and chose to bowl, figuring that we are a better side chasing, and it paid dividends when Veitch picked up both openers with just 16 on the board. Hampton put together a good stand, but never got away, and the pressure told when Veitch bowled their number four in his last over. Not content with his spell of 12-0-45-3, he then swooped at backward point to run out the next man with a direct hit.  Oats came on and proceeded to hoover up some cheap wickets at the end to finish with 4-19, as Hampton collapsed to 142 all out.

 

The Comics made short work of the small target. Coops hit 41, Freddie 33, and new-boy Andre followed up his sharp catch with a lusty 44*. Ratboy made another globe, putting him in Veitch territory, and skipper managed to avoid the ‘C’ word this week, so all in all a satisfactory performance.

Once again this year, the Comics ran a good team close but failed to come up with the win. Admittedly this was due to the weather, as the run chase came up short in desperately bad light, but still it was another game that really should have been won., and the fact we started late due to our non-arrival came back top haunt us. Osterley surprisingly chose to bat on a damp track, and at 40-2 off 17 overs it seemed a bad decision, as Will and Veitch bowled tightly. However, their number three was a fine player, and he was backed up by the middle order who found the boundaries with a degree of good fortune. Neil bowled well, but as the fielding became sloppy the wheels came off and they reached a decent though gettable 261.

 

Coops and Freddie got the Comics off to a flier with a stand of 130, and kept up with the run rate. However, the captain’s dismissal was followed by a mini collapse, and as the rate rose steadily, the light also began to fade. Freddie brought up a breath-taking century, but no one else provided support and when he fell our chances went, as our lusty late-order hitters struggled in the darkness. No shame in defeat, but again it was a case of what might have been.