14/05/05 - Economicals v Old Isleworthians & Heston

Economicals 173, Old I's & Heston 174-8

For what seems like the millionth year in a row, the Comics went down in the opening game, though this was certainly not as shameful as normal. Indeed, with a bit more application at the crease, a decent Old Isleworthians/Heston team would have been beaten. Amazingly, we were put in on a typically docile Berrylands pitch, a decision that soon looked foolish as the newly back-waxed Coops and Trehy set about the opening bowlers amid a flurry of boundaries. A stand of 71 in 16 overs was ended when Coops pulled (a rare occurrence these days) only to pick out the man at square leg, and Trehy followed a few overs later in the same way, having suffered a painful blow to the box that left him happily swollen. Both fell to poor deliveries, and this set a general tone for the rest of the innings, as various comedy ways of dismissal were found. Weak lofted drives to mid-off (Denis, Ratboy), shouldering arms to straight deliveries (Mark Veitch – possibly due to wearing Stevie Wonder’s glasses), Frenchie running out Angus etc. Ian Dodson played very well for 41 before holing out near the end, but inexplicably the Comics failed to bat out the overs, which would ultimately be their downfall.

173 should never have been enough, but the Comics bowled straight and fielded enthusiastically, and at 106-6 victory looked likely, but their no 5 played well to reach 50 and they scraped home by two wickets with eight balls to spare. Coops and Dodson picked up two apiece, while Gus, Veitch and Oats each got a wicket for their hard toil on a pitch offering very little. A narrow loss against a team who’d won well the previous week was not a bad effort, especially considering it was our first game. Any resemblance of this form next week should see the first win, or else a long season beckons…

Rained Off

Guildford 273-9, Economicals 182-9

Economicals suffered a hefty loss to Guildford City A, though nine bonus points was not a bad return from a Bank Holiday-weakened team having to chase leather for over three hours on a flat Berrylands deck. Their total was flattering, based around a very unstylish century from their skipper. We bowled badly early on and couldn't really pull it back from that point. Some good catches were taken, but a couple of tough ones were missed, and when the sun shines at home you cannot afford to give lives, or give away 40 extras! Coops and Oats picked up three wickets each, but in reality the game was up at half-time. Nick Henzel looked superb and hit an excellent 47, and Martin also looked good in finally scoring the runs he ought to, with a steady 44. Frenchy smashed a four off the last ball to secure maximum batting points, which realistically was all we could have hoped for. If we had batted first it could perhaps have been very different...Coops vows to practice his tossing vigorously this week.

Economicals 139, Morden 140-3

A tough season is in store for the Comics unless better application is shown at the crease. In a shambolic batting performance, the Comics were dismissed in just the 27th over. Bad luck played some part, but poor shot selection contributed to many dismissals, and the chance of a potential run-fest was lost. French and Coops were strangled down the leg side, Macca and Veitch threw their wickets away slogging, while Denis was just gay. Roy looked good on his debut, at least until he bowled. No one was safe when the Adelaide Express was charging down the hill, even if you were at square leg. If the wayward ball didn't hit you, a stray claw off his hobbit feet would. Paul Matheson was bowling with far greater control at the other end, and when he and Gus were in tandem the Morden batsmen struggled to score runs. However, catches win matches, and when their top three batsmen were all dropped on nothing (tough chances, admittedly), a small total is never going to be defended successfully. There is too much talent in this team to struggle all season, but at some point individuals need to step up, or relegation is guaranteed. 

Addington 159-9, Economicals 163-6

A week is a long time in politics, and also in Comics cricket. Another hefty defeat was on the cards on Thursday, with only eight players available, but Coops remembered that the Gumtree is not just a place to find fat weirdos, and the Comics duly notched a first win of the season in some style. It was Friday night when Tim Atrill responded to Coops' ad, "I'll suck you dry tonight", and when it turned out he was a leg-spinner and had his own spikes it was always going to be true love.

Comics lost the toss and had to bowl, but this was a performance of great discipline. Oats and Matheson bowled a great new ball spell. Matheson in particular was so in the zone that he ignored Sue-Anne's pathetic boundary wooing. Gus picked up three wickets, and Tim followed a sharp catch in the covers with three wickets, two caught at slip by the bemused Trehy. Almost proper cricket. Three sixes off the last three balls ruined Tim's figures, and also potentially put the score out of reach of a weak looking batting line-up.

With Trehy and Coops out with only 30 on the board it did not look good, but Jeremy made a gritty, fortuitous 27, and then Tim took over, smashing the ball to all parts. He brought up the first 50 of the season with a big six, and when he was dismissed only 30 were needed. Gus guided the ship home along with another Gumtree debutant Erfan, and that elusive win was ours.  With key players to return, avoiding relegation suddenly looks a comfortably achievable goal. 

Economicals 215, Travaux 129

On a scorching day, the Comics crushed high-flying Travaux to run the winning streak to two. This line-up would beat any team in Division 2, and with the toss won, Coops' confident prediction of victory was comfortably achieved. A deep batting order came in handy, turning 100-5 and 149-7 into a solid 215. Lots of starts, but only Roy showed the concentration to make a flawless 53. A last wicket partnership of 30 turned out to be crucial, and 215 was always going to be a bridge too far against a strong Comics bowling line-up.

And so it proved. Paul Matheson again bowled tightly with little luck, and with Tim turning it square at the other end, the Travaux reply never got off the ground. When Mark Veitch held a stunning catch at cover to remove their best player, the game was up. All bowled well, and boundaries were at a premium - it was a terrific performance. Veitch cleaned up the tail, and a comprehensive win was sealed. With another strong-looking line-up next week, a third win in a row should set the season up nicely.  

Economicals 213, Wandsworth 'A' 214-7

The winning streak came to an end, but there was no shame in defeat for the Comics, who ran a very strong Wandsworth side to the wire. They were good players, but sportsmanship was sadly lacking. Turned up 30 mins late, silly appeals, painfully slow over-rate, fielders moving as the ball was being bowled etc. At 50-4 it looked like a bleak day was in store, but Coops rode his luck to make 75, and was ably supported by Dodson, who made 33 in his two knocks, and Veitchy, who smashed it around to the joy of the crowd. 213 should've been enough, but the three unused overs would prove to be crucial.

At about 40-3, Wandsworth were in trouble, but their skipper played very well and brought them home. The bowling was good, the fielding was 99% excellent, but it wasn't quite enough and they won with five balls to spare. A couple of dropped chances and missed runouts, and Veitchy splattering the skipper's stumps off a no ball, proved crucial.

With this defeat, the calls for the return of big-hitting all-rounder Barry 'Pietersen' Perinperaja will be reaching fever pitch.

BBC 142, Economicals 143-5

The Comics continued their resurgence with a comfortable victory over a poor BBC side. On a poor wicket, Coops won the toss and had no hesitation in putting the basement-dwellers into bat. Veitchy and Paul bowled tidily and catches were taken, and at 33-5 a short day was in store. However, a controversial run-out decision, where their umpire was a bigger cheat than Ratboy, led to some bowling and fielding lapses as rags were lost. Their tail-ender smashed 40-odd and things were looking bleak at one point, but 142 was still a low total on a small ground.

Coops fell for a duck, but Trehy took the attack to their bowlers, and then Brett came in and brought the team home with a classy knock. Denis got into double figures for a change, and Macca knocked off the winning runs with plenty of overs to spare.

Other notable moments: Rob Dunster's woeful match, Martin's ducking in the gully, and Gus "Gayboy" Davis actually bowling live turds at their batsmen. With Barry "Chaminda" Perinperaja knocking on the door for a bowling slot, his place could be in jeopardy.

Economicals 210-9, Putney 149

The Comics brought up a fourth win in five with a magnificent effort against a solid Putney side. To win so comfortably - having been put in on a wet wicket, having collapsed from 76-0 to 88-5 and 122-7, and having seen the oppo cruise to 80-odd on a now-flat pitch - was a great achievement.

Coops and Trehy battled hard in very testing conditions to provide a great platform, but the returning Jabba made his own shape in runs (much to the disappointment of Ratboy. And Trehy. And Denis. And everyone else)  and when Brett and Gus fell quickly afterwards we were in trouble. Such is the strength of the batting these days, though, that everyone made useful contributions and a respectable total of 210 was posted. Gary Peters followed the Heston Harmy by discovering that it's not so easy to pick up wickets on a proper pitch. More on him later.

However, conditions were much easier now, and Putney's openers strolled through the early exchanges, reaching 80-odd in chanceless fashion. The introduction of Macca into the attack turned the game on its head, as he swung the ball and bowled with real aggression, taking three wickets in quick succession. When Dodson finally held a chance of his own bowling to removed their opener, the game was in the balance. Inexplicably, Peters came in and shut up shop, and suddenly the run rate required was above eight an over. Gus came on and sent middle stump cartwheeling out of the ground, and then Veitchy returned with sprained ankle to run through the tail, with all four victims bowled. At least they went down swinging, as team players ought to.

With Gray failing on his return, perhaps it's time for the return of Bazza for the next game on July 23? LSE sportsground will be conducting bag searches from now on, to avoid terror attacks on "popular captain" Chris Cooper from the dissenting ranks, so allow extra time for your arrival.      

Economicals 109, Sunbury 112-3

The worst performance of the season saw the Comics crash to an admittedly strong Sunbury side. In the face of tight bowling and good fielding, too many players didn't show the necessary application at the crease, either playing expansive shots too early or throwing their wickets away when well set. We grabbed two wickets early, but 109 was never going to be enough, and Sunbury knocked off the runs with ease.

It was a feisty game, and while we may have lost the game, we could at least hold our heads high in the dignity/sledging stakes! Their gutless no 3 hit the cover off one, refused to walk, got given, cried, tried to fight everyone, and then bottled out of a confrontation with Gus, preferring instead to mutter racial abuse under his pikey breath on the sidelines and then make a hasty post-match exit, rather than back up his fighting talk by getting pasted by "The Acton Assassin".     

Sheen Park 189-8, Economicals 125

I went to Birmingham for the test match with seven Aussies, so no idea what happened here. Jez obviously batted well, Macca bowled well, good hands BT, and Jabba you are worse than Barry.

The test match was stupidly entertaining (was there both Sat and Sun). Birmingham is a hell-hole of the highest order. Saw Darren Lehmann in Walkabout on the Friday, and Damien Fleming in some dodgy club the next night. You get some horrible chavs at the cricket outside of London, but good fun nonetheless. While they are beasts on the whole, provincial birds do come up to you and let you feel their tits. I'm living in the wrong city.

Deando were about 125-5 when rain ended proceedings. Couple of wickets for Shane.

Match abandoned due to rain.

Beddington Village 112, Economicals 113-3

Bank Holiday weekend meant both sides were weakened and had only ten players, but Beddington were very ordinary in all aspects of the game, from ability to sportsmanship, and so a facile victory ensued. Their captain surprisingly chose to bat on a soft wicket, and with Veitch and Matheson bowling tightly we were soon on top. They strung together a couple of decent partnerships, but Shane bowled fast and straight and deservedly picked up a five-wicket haul. Gus bowled like a drain...again.

112 was never going to be enough, but at 7-2 and with Coops (inexplicably bowled by the sloppiest pie in cooking history) and Trehy back in the hutch, it was looking none so clever. However, one-and-a-half men with points to prove joined forces to put on 92 to see us home. Frenchy was filled with even more rage than usual, having been dropped the previous week, and having lost the gloves again this week as Coops tried the novel concept of picking someone agile, while BARRY was hoping to prove a point to the selectors. Frenchy and BARRY were initially cautious, but soon began to pick up runs off some fairly ordinary bowling. As heads dropped in the field, Frenchy smashed a succession of fine cover drives, while BARRY hit a huge six and then smashed their quick back over his head. Cracking stuff.

Some old lady scoring meant that both heroes claimed double centuries, but it matters not. Have they done enough to stay in the team? I doubt it...

Economicals 319-7, Clapham OX 207

The Comics ended the season with a bang, hitting what could well be a club record score to finish the season in the top half and with a .500 record for the first time since 1999. Coops won the toss on a lovely day and had no hesitation in batting. He and emergency opener Gus got us off to a flyer, before Veitch triggered his countryman with a pitiful decision. The middle order chipped in with contributions, but once Veitch got his eye in after a shaky start the carnage began. He and Coops put on 141 in 14 overs, with many sixes and a few lost balls. Veitch hit three in a row, while Coops hit seven in total, including one that is still going. Coops brought up another Comics ton after a chanceless display, and some lusty hitting from Macca got the score up to a crazy 319.

This did not look enough after the first over, as Macca bowled absolute filth - beamers, wides, no balls - 21 runs in total off probably 12 balls. With Frenchie having suffered a stroke during the interval, the byes were racking up too, and tempers began to get frayed for no reason. Matheson bowled both openers in another tidy spell, and Dodson also picked up two. Macca, having spat his dummy at being taken off after his pile of shit over, returned to pick up four. Some of our behaviour was poor again...there really is no need to be arguing with the oppo or each other when the game is won...something to work on next season.

Coops wrapped up victory with the last wicket, and then it was off to Brett and Macca's fancy dress party for gallons of booze. Great stuff.  Until next year...